Nobody said retraining would be easy but being a parent makes it doubly hard. Not only will you still be trying to be mummy or daddy but you are also a student, with deadlines, maybe clinical placements. Suddenly life as you know it is very different. There will be days when you wonder if you are doing the right thing, moments of despair, often in the middle of the night, when you actually think it would be easier to just stop, to go back to the old way of life, when it was all so much easier. But was it? There is a reason you have chosen to retrain, to be something else.
Believe me there have been days when I have wanted to quit, to return to my old life. That is when I remind myself why I am retraining, why I wanted to be something else. Yes I have this blog and still freelance a little, perhaps it's my comfort blanket. But in all honesty I love my new life, which sometimes I need to remind myself. Right now I am in the depths of revision, assignment writing and clinical practice. The long commute adds to my tiredness, but I know that in four weeks time all my assignments will be handed in, all my exams finished and just a few more weeks on placement. I will have almost finished my second year, in thirteen months from now I will be qualified. These are the carrots dangle in front of myself in those dark moments in the middle of the night.
So whatever life throws at me I will persevere. My children have adapted to our new life, although I know they aren't so keen on me not being here as much. Just because I am doing something else that means I am not home as much doesn't mean I love them any less. I still adore them, am partly doing this for them. To help them financially through university, to pay for driving lessons. But above all I like to think that I am showing my daughters that women can make changes, they can be more and yes we can juggle family and career.
Until next time, take care.
Zoe
xo
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