I returned to lectures last week and boy it's been a tough week. The work isn't beyond me but the brutal realisation about the amount of work I need to do before the beginning of June has been horrid. To be perfectly honest I have spent the last few days feeling really quite fed up, panicky and not quite sure how to go forward. I know I can easily write a study schedule, planning when do to what, but a vital ingredient to make that work is time. Obviously being a mature student with a family means time is not something I have lots of. Whilst I may finish lectures at 3.30 I then have evening clubs to run the children to, help them with their homework, sort the washing ( a full time job in itself), dinner to cook if it's my turn, make sure the children have baths, read stories, oh the list goes on! So it is often after nine o'clock before I can think about studying.
I know I am not alone and yesterday thought about the comparisons with women running their own businesses or working and studying too. With or without children, there is always something else to do. Never mind all those ideas we have, the ones that we want to try now. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to ideas. I always seem to have amazing ideas when I'm at my busiest.
Yesterday I had a tutorial with my personal tutor, trying to workout how I can make it through the next four months, with as little grey hair as possible and still married and friends with my children! My husband is amazing and incredibly supportive but I know how stressy I can become and test even the most patient of people. Anyway, speaking to my tutor has really helped and one thing she said was like a light switching on. She suggested when I want to go off and research something interesting from a lecture to first consider if it will be beneficial for my assignments. If it is then go ahead, read up about it. If it's not then keep a list and return to these at a later date,when I have completed my assignments. I realised that I needed to focus and not just in my studies. I could apply this way of working to other ideas too. So if I have a fab idea for my book idea, my husbands business or my other writing, I will keep a list. Then I can return to this list when I have time to think them through properly, to consider them as realistic ideas to be grown or just binned.
A huge sense of relief has washed over me now and I feel more confident in completing my assignments. I truly believe that there is a way we can balance our lives, getting to do most of the things we want, but we must focus on the tasks that need to be done first. Do you struggle with focusing on the task in hand too? I would love to know I am not alone!
Until next time, take care.
Zoe
x
